Shondra and I were having coffee when her cell phone rang. She looked at the number and quickly declined the call. “I’m not answering that,” she shook her head and looked down.
“Why not?” I asked.
“It’s the bank, I’m maxed out on my credit cards. “she sighed.
“What? Girl, what have you been doing? A little retail therapy is good, but how did you max everything out?”
Shondra reached down and picked up a brand new Louis Vuitton bag she had stashed under the table. I had to admit, it was to die for.
“That’s beautiful, but one purse put you over the limit?” I pressed.
“No, that’s the thing. I went out and bought a ton of new clothes. Then there was a sale at DSW and I ended up with four new pair of leather boots. There’s this new guy at work and I would do anything to catch his eye. He’s got a constant parade of ladies every day, but it doesn’t seem to affect him.”
“Maybe that’s because he’s at work and trying to keep it professional,” I said.
“I know, but if I’m irresistible, then all bets are off!” she laughed.
Perhaps you’ve been there too. You plunk down your MasterCard for a new outfit, new hairdo or even a whole make over, thinking that would be just the thing to turn a man’s head. But do you want someone that only wants you because you’ve got a killer pair of boots or a sexy new outfit?
The kind of man you want is not the kind that only looks at your external appearance. The right man for you is one that loves you for your confidence, your attitude and your spirit. If you’ve had a relationship and thought he was the one, only to have it crumble apart, it’s easy to assume that you weren’t irresistible. Maybe you should have been thinner, or worn your hair straight or dressed sexier. If that was all that was holding the two of you together, then my friend, you dodged a bullet.
I’ll tell you something that you may not have heard from your girlfriends. Have faith. Yes, have faith that there is someone out there perfect for you. It may take some time to overcome those fears and past hurts, but you can cultivate a positive mindset by taking an inventory of your best qualities. Are you funny? Patient? Empathetic? Generous? Smart?
If you can’t come up with anything, ask a few close friends how they would describe you. Ask the ones that will level with you. Listen to their answers. Be open. You may hear things that pleasantly surprise you.
It’s been said that the best thing you can put on is confidence. You don’t have to max out your credit card for a new outfit or the latest accessory you can’t afford just to catch someone’s eye. Be confident, be yourself and be ready, because he’s out there!