After being in relationships that left you heartbroken, you may ask yourself “Why is it that I always seem to attract men who are bad for me?” or “Why I am not smart enough to realize when someone is bad for me?”
As a relationship therapist and coach, I don’t think “being smart” has anything to do with it. The reason we fall for the bad guys is that there is something on the inside of us that identifies with how they make us feel.
For example, let’s say a woman was sexually abused as a child and the abuse left her feeling unsafe and unworthy. This woman never healed from the abuse so as an adult she continued to carry around those feelings inside of her. And as time went on, she met a man who resembled “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.” One minute he loved her and the next he was making her feel down and low. This woman may ask herself “Why do I stay with him when he treats me so bad?” I would say, the woman’s feelings of “being unsafe and unworthy” have attracted a partner who gives her the same familiar feelings. And the longer she carries those feelings the harder it will be to disconnect from the familiar source. This is the same for women who have experienced broken relationships as adults. If healing does not occur they will also eventually find a familiar source to connect to.
Heal to Release Negative Emotions
This is why healing to release past hurts and fears is essential in attracting the relationship you want. We attract to us who we are emotionally on the inside. Now I am not saying that once you go through the healing process that Mr. Wrong will never want your number. But I am saying that if you are healed you will be able to see Mr. Wrong for who he really is and say “No thanks!”
My Relationship Advice on How to Attract Mr. Right
So, as I tell my clients, if you want to attract Mr. Right, you have to become who you want him to be. You want honesty…become honest, you want dependable…become a woman of your word…you want drama-free…let go of your baggage, you want successful…follow your own ambition.
My last piece of relationship advice for you is this: Do not worry that it is too late for you to meet the right man for you. Just take this time to make sure you are not carrying any negative emotions from past experiences. This way you will be 100% open and ready to attract true love.
I talk more about how to attract the life and relationship you want in my new book, Single Woman’s Wake Up Call: Why Settle for Less when you can Have more. You can check it out here
In the comments below I would love to hear from you. In 5 words or less describe the wrong guy for you.
I’ll go first: inconsiderate, don’t communicate, dishonest, arrogant, sarcastic…okay I used 6 but you get the picture.
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