What to Do When You are Falling Out of Love

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but if you’re beginning to endure more “downs” than “ups”, you may be beginning to fall out of love with your partner.  Whether you’re trying to salvage this current relationship or want to make sure that you’re well prepared for the next one, here are 4 tips on what to do when you are falling out of love.

Ask Yourself If It’s Worth Saving

Most experts will tell you that every relationship can be saved, but is it really worth saving?  Will you and your partner be happier together or apart?  In your heart of hearts, you may very well already know which direction the relationship should go. But to help you keep perspective, remember that a great relationship all starts with a strong foundation, much of which can be covered with the three C’s:

  • Communication
  • Compromise
  • Compassion

Without those, your relationship will likely continue on its rocky path and ultimately come to an end.  If you do have that good, solid foundation, then you can start working towards saving your relationship.

Don’t Wait to Feel More Loving

A major trap that all too many couples make is that they wait to feel more loving rather than actually be more loving.  Remember, the love that we feel and have for our partner is largely dependent on the kind and thoughtful things that we do for them and the relationship. Show your partner how much you care, even if they have become more distant. You can stop the vicious “uncaring” cycle that’s been put in place by nurturing your relationship and your partner.

Don’t Stop Saying “I Love You”

When we feel down and vulnerable, we often omit these three tender words from our vocabulary to protect ourselves and keep our guard up. But no matter how mad you may be with your partner, saying “I love you” reminds your partner – and yourself – that you do still love them.

But let’s take a pause here – what if you aren’t sure that you still love your partner?  What if it’s gone so far that when you look into your partner’s eyes you just aren’t sure if you still feel the same way?  Rather than openly question that love (i.e. “I’m not sure I love you any more…”), put a more positive spin on it.  Say something along the lines of, “I want our love to continue to grow”.  This will engage your spouse in a positive way, and will likely result in more loving behavior.

Don’t Forget the Little Things

Studies have shown that men in particular feel more loved based on our behavior rather than our words,  which makes doing those little things to show you care all the more important.  Start sending sweet text messages like “I miss you” or little jokes that you two enjoy.  Buy little thoughtful gifts, or prepare a romantic meal with perhaps some candles and a bottle of wine to remind your partner that you care and crave a close and intimate relationship.  Continue to “date” your partner. Enjoy your life together by partaking in different activities and experiences that will help create memories and build a stronger connection between you both.

Over to you

Have you ever felt that you’re starting to fall out of love with your partner? If your answer is Yes, what did you do to try to save the relationship?



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  • Cristina Rosa

    That’s really great advice! After a few years of relationship, things aren’t like they used to be in the beginning but we have to work to make it better each day. If we won’t that’s the quickest way to eventually split up…

  • jim

    i dont really know what is happening to us but every time we fight, my mind keep saying that do i really love her, is she the one for me, does she really loves me or she’s just staying just because we have a child?
    before, most of the time that we argue, we also settled it before the end of the day, but recently we had some serious arguments and never settle before the end of the day and most of the time we fight again with same reason. i still love her that is what im saying to myself every time but there’s also a second thought like, i still love her but until when.