My Rules, My Life, My Way… Any Questions?

“My rules, my life, my way….any questions?” Who would be gutsy enough to tell someone that? You, that’s who.

If you have fallen into the habit of giving all your control over to someone else, then that statement probably scares the hell out of you. I know how you feel. I was that girl once too.

I felt that in order to make my man love me more, I had to do the things he wanted to do, like the things he liked and arrange my life around his. By constantly trying to please him, I had lost my self-confidence. I stopped doing things I liked. Simple things like spending an evening at home alone, doing my nails and watching Lifetime.

It wasn’t just the little things either. As I gave over more control, I realized that I had put my own dreams on the back burner like traveling and starting my own counseling practice.

By the time I knew that he wasn’t Mr. Right, I realized that I had not only given away my control, I had thrown away my time. Time that could have been spent working toward my dreams or enjoying my friends and family. I was not only hurt, I was angry.

While I struggled with the pain of the breakup, I had to work through the anger at myself. I began to start doing the things that made me feel good. Pampering myself, eating right, getting exercise and sleeping better. From there, I was able to start to do things I wanted to do. I began to feel stronger and more confident. I built on the little things and the confidence grew even more.

Since I have opened up my relationship counseling and coaching practice, I realize that many women are in the same position I was. If there was one thing I could tell you, it is this: don’t stop being who you are to be someone you think others want you to be.  Pursue your interests, your dreams and your goals. Don’t put things on the back burner for anyone else, especially if you think you have to do that in order to get a man or keep the one you have. If he doesn’t realize the unique, fabulous beauty you are, then it’s time to stand up straight, look him in the eye and say, “My rules, my life, my way!”

So here’s a question for you: what is one rule you live by that no one can convince you to change?

I can’t wait to hear from you! Leave a comment below. 
And if you liked this article, share it with your friends, they will love you for it!

Loving Life,




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  • Akera Wright

    The one rule that I live by is that ” In order for me to succeed I must know what it feels like to fail” and reading your blogs has helped me realize that I don’t have to change who I am to get what I deserve. So even if I have to fall,stumble or fail I’ll always remember what you said “Don’t stop being who you are to be someone you think others want you to be”. Thank you for all you do.

  • Trabia Major Towns

    when i meet a guy i let them know off top what i expect and what i will not except. take it or leave it. i have no time to play games and i will not raise somebody else adult male. come to me grown or dont come at me at all.