Love is alive. It is a living, breathing entity that you need to nurture continuously. It must be fed, explored, kindled over and over again.
And without care, the love in your relationship can become an unspoken word and unfelt emotion. Without attention, love can fizzle or fade.
I know that sounds harsh, but this is a wake up call: Your relationship can only survive if you nurture it. Modern couples often take love for granted. They treat it as something that just begins — and ends — without much thought about sustaining it. They neglect it, brush it aside and forget that it needs attention.
When you ignore the need for this love maintenance, you find yourself and your relationship stuck in the same ol’ problems, fights and games. You rehash. You continue to break down the warmth, trust, communication and honesty that once felt so normal and easy. You begin to isolate yourself and your feelings until the relationship dissolves and the love fizzles out.
However, when you treat love like a vibrant, blooming orchid on your windowsill — delicate and dependent yet bold and beautiful — you create a different experience for you, your partner and your relationship. You allow yourself to heal from past stress and distress, to build trust and communication, to reconnect with your desires, and to find the courage to forgive and focus on your future. When you nurture love, you are able to move forward, to honor who you are and your relationship and to finally find your happily ever after.
That’s because love is the feel-good glue that keeps us connected.
If you are feeling as though your love life has been neglected far too long, it’s time you change the course of your relationship. It’s time you give yourself the gift of trust, honesty and communication and break down the barriers that keep you from being vulnerable, open and authentic.
Your first step? Realize you cannot do it alone. Secondly, acknowledge that it will not be easy. Next, you’ll need to start working on the 4 Cs of love.
The 4 Cs are the key ingredients to a send-each-other-loving-texts-just-because relationship. They are what separate the bitter, angry and cold from the bold, caring and warm partnership of your dreams (and soon to be reality). In therapy, these are the core areas on which we focus. When we get at the root of your challenges and we work on the 4 Cs, we respark and rehabilitate your love, giving you tools, resources and knowledge to embolden your relationship.
Together, the 4 Cs become a love potion. And let me tell you, it’s potent.
The 4 Cs will help you lose yourself to love — without actually losing yourself. They will help you rebuild trust after infidelity, help you let go and learn to forgive. They will allow you to set healthy boundaries and expectations in your relationship. They will even light a sexual fire that’s long been cold and stagnant.
So let’s get down to work and learn to show love some love.
The 4 Cs Love Potion for Relationship Success
Let’s face it, love is kind of scary. Especially if you have been hurt, taken advantage of, cheated on and abandoned in the past. Once you’ve been scarred by a past relationship, the idea of succumbing to love once again can feel like walking onto a battle ground. You need an army-sized heap of courage to take steps forward, to open yourself up, pull away the emotional suit of armor you’ve been wearing and begin to trust again. In therapy, a patient and experienced counselor like myself will help you find confidence and courage to be you and to love you — with or without your partner’s approval. You’ll connect with and expand those hidden pockets of intimacy (the ones you’ve pushed far out of reach), allowing yourself to create the relationship you’ve always wanted. You’ll learn to trust and surrender control — no matter how scary it may seem.
Awkward silences and even more awkward conversations. All the awful things said and all the things that should have been said but were not. When communication is rocky, the relationship is rocky. And when honesty is lacking, the whole thing can come crashing down. Heart-stretching honesty and communication are a main focus in therapy. We will work to ensure there is free-flowing expression within your relationship, that you feel comfortable voicing your needs and desires, and that information and feelings are communicated in productive, non-blaming, drama-free ways. We will open the channels of communication — whether it’s about your money woes, his jealousy or your bedroom wants and needs.
You’ve heard it before: Love hurts. But love hurts a little less when you can learn to forgive and when you show compassion. The heart is a resilient muscle, and therapy is like exercise for that muscle. When you learn compassion and forgiveness, you learn to let go of heartaches and heartbreaks, fractured trust and unconscious slights that have swollen into blinding bruises. In therapy, we learn to let go of shame and resentment that your heart has been grasping onto for countless years. Grudges will go away, trauma will heal, hate will fade and joy will resurface.
Your relationship is not simply about you — it’s about how you and your partner work together. It’s about two unique individuals with unique histories coming together to create a unique partnership. Having the warmth and comfort of an attuned, connected relationship is like slipping on your favorite cashmere sweater. And like cashmere, feeling connected can sometimes feel like a luxury. Together we will work to ensure that the perfection of connection is not something that’s fleeting. We will dig deep, accepting each other’s qualities and characteristics, respecting each other for who you are, and creating a secure space where we celebrate your individuality while bringing you closer together.
Together, we can bring your love to life once again.
If you need help nurturing your relationship back to health and improving the 4 Cs in your love life, I can offer plenty of support and insight. You can contact me at (864) 559-8181 to schedule an appointment. I can help people in Greenville, SC, and surrounding areas.