It’s not you, it’s me: Is it really?

“We need to talk.” That’s how it usually starts. Or should I say that’s how it always starts… well most of the time, isn’t it? There’s always a breakup opener. And then he starts saying these things: “You’re a wonderful girl”, “You deserve someone better than me”, “It’s not you, it’s me”.

Did he really just utter this painful cliché? Some of your friends have probably told you this was the reason their ex-boyfriends gave them, and now the guy you thought you’ll spend forever with gave you the exact breakup line. The phrase seems like an easy way out. But even though he’s telling you that it’s not your fault, it only makes you feel worse.

it's not you it's me

The phrase “It’s not you, it’s me” is one of the most common breakup lines. For some, it’s a great excuse for breaking up so as not to hurt their partner’s feelings. You start thinking whether you’re not really good enough for him, or whether he no longer finds you attractive. If the guy has used this excuse to end your relationship, don’t assume right away that it’s your fault. Be gentle with yourself. I know most people would say that your man is really putting the blame on you and that he just didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Here are 2 ways that you can interpret this breakup cliché:

It’s both of you. It’s hard for couples to admit their mistakes or shortcomings. Relationships take a lot of hard work. Somewhere along the way, you or your partner might have changed a little bit: you missed date nights because of work, your partner no longer gives you flowers, you’re not able to spend more quality time together… I could go on. It’s so easy to put the blame on someone and focus on their negative traits. Both of you could be at fault. Were you too busy with work that he started to go out with his friends more often? Was he too friendly to his female co-workers that you started to become possessive?

He really is taking the blame. When a guy says “It’s not you, it’s me”, he could possibly be taking the blame, and this shows how much he respects you. He could be telling the truth.

Now I want to hear from you. Have you ever experienced being told by an ex-boyfriend “It’s not you, it’s me”? How did you react? I would like to read your thoughts in the comments below.

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