Getting the Relationship You Want
June 25th, 2014
Red Flags to Look For in a New Relationship
A woman’s intuition is a powerful guide when choosing the right partner. But the excitement of a new relationship can sometimes make us ignore those nagging feelings of concern.
When it comes to relationship advice for women, there’s no shortage of tips on finding and winning over a partner. However, far fewer resources focus on helping women avoid the wrong guy.
If you’re unsure what to look for in a partner—or need confirmation that your suspicions are valid—pay attention. Here are three major red flags to watch for in a new relationship.
The Jealous Dramatic
All too many times women mistake their man’s jealousy and aggression for “passion” or “care”. In reality these behaviors are tactics that these individuals employ to control and contain you. Some of the signs may be small at first (i.e. asking you to forgo a night out with friends to stay in with him), but these behaviors can escalate quickly and can move all the way up to dangerous levels. Shut down any relationship where:
- Your partner insults you, you friends or your family
- Your partner tries to interfere with you having any connection to anyone else, whether that be in person, through a computer, through your phone (texting, phone calls), etc.
- Your partner becomes incensed and angry over small issues
- Your partner blames you for his or her bad mood
- Your partner shows possessive behaviors
The Manipulative Mood Swinger
Women are often called masters of manipulation, but many overlook red flags for the chance at a shiny new relationship.
Steer clear of anyone who insists you did something when you didn’t. Avoid those who accuse you of overreacting when you know you’re not. Be wary of anyone who flies off the handle over small things and pins all the blame on you.
My best relationship advice? Choose a partner who listens, accepts responsibility, and owns their faults—just as you should with your own.
The Secretive Liar
My last piece of relationship advice for women: don’t get involved with someone who is displaying any secretive behaviors. We all want to have a relationship where we can tell our partner anything and everything, and vice versa. Though you may not be able to put your finger on it immediately, if you step back and objectively think about your new beau, you’ll likely be able to start seeing signs of secretive or lying behaviors such as:
- You’re being purposefully compartmentalized and kept from being a part of other aspects of your partner’s life
- Your partner is overly protective of his phone, computer, etc.
- Your partner doesn’t share any information about himself outside of the relationship
IMPORTANT: There’s a distinction between someone being private and someone being secretive. If your partner doesn’t respond to texts within an hour or two isn’t a reason to assume that they’re hiding something. They may very well appreciate prioritizing their alone time and enjoy having one or two hours of downtime after work.
Over to you
What do you think are the red flags that every woman should not ignore in a new relationship?
Those are some good tips that can be used for both women and men. As a man I have had women who were Facebook jealous of people that I grew up with or just people who have commented on my post. Jealousy goes both ways and should not be tolerated by male or female. There are always signs that you should get out of a relationship. The problem comes when we ignore those signs because we think we can’t do better or just don’t want to be alone. Great article. Thanks for sharing
You are so right…jealousy in a relationship should not be tolerated by men or women. Thank you for giving us a male perspective!
That’s great advice! I personally hate the ‘The Jealous Dramatic’ type – unfortunately I had an unpleasant experience of having to deal with one… I guess having too many secrets is also a big Red Flag. A relationship should be transparent!