Getting the Relationship You Want
June 25th, 2014
Red Flags to Look For in a New Relationship
A woman’s intuition is a strong and powerful defender when it comes to choosing a high quality mate, but sometimes the lure of a new and exciting relationship can coerce us into neglecting those nagging feelings of concern. When it comes to relationship advice for women, there are pages and pages both online and off that are dedicated to finding and winning over a partner, and not nearly enough that are geared towards preventing women from falling in love with the wrong guy. Whether you’re not sure what you should be looking for in a partner or are looking to confirm your persistent suspicions that the man you’re falling for isn’t “the one”, here are 3 blazing red flags that everyone should be on the lookout for when entering into a new relationship:
The Jealous Dramatic
All too many times women mistake their man’s jealousy and aggression for “passion” or “care”. In reality these behaviors are tactics that these individuals employ to control and contain you. Some of the signs may be small at first (i.e. asking you to forgo a night out with friends to stay in with him), but these behaviors can escalate quickly and can move all the way up to dangerous levels. Shut down any relationship where:
- Your partner insults you, you friends or your family
- Your partner tries to interfere with you having any connection to anyone else, whether that be in person, through a computer, through your phone (texting, phone calls), etc.
- Your partner becomes incensed and angry over small issues
- Your partner blames you for his or her bad mood
- Your partner shows possessive behaviors
The Manipulative Mood Swinger
Women are said to be masters of manipulation, but too many give potential partners the pass because of the possibility of a shiny new relationship. Steer clear of anyone who tells you that you’ve done something when you haven’t, accuses you of overreacting when you know you’re not, or who flies off the handle over little things and pins all the blame on you. My best piece of relationship advice for women is to seek a partner who’s willing to listen, accept, and take ownership of his or her own faults, just as you should with your own.
The Secretive Liar
My last piece of relationship advice for women: don’t get involved with someone who is displaying any secretive behaviors. We all want to have a relationship where we can tell our partner anything and everything, and vice versa. Though you may not be able to put your finger on it immediately, if you step back and objectively think about your new beau, you’ll likely be able to start seeing signs of secretive or lying behaviors such as:
- You’re being purposefully compartmentalized and kept from being a part of other aspects of your partner’s life
- Your partner is overly protective of his phone, computer, etc.
- Your partner doesn’t share any information about himself outside of the relationship
IMPORTANT: There’s a distinction between someone being private and someone being secretive. If your partner doesn’t respond to texts within an hour or two isn’t a reason to assume that they’re hiding something. They may very well appreciate prioritizing their alone time and enjoy having one or two hours of downtime after work.
Over to you
What do you think are the red flags that every woman should not ignore in a new relationship?
Those are some good tips that can be used for both women and men. As a man I have had women who were Facebook jealous of people that I grew up with or just people who have commented on my post. Jealousy goes both ways and should not be tolerated by male or female. There are always signs that you should get out of a relationship. The problem comes when we ignore those signs because we think we can’t do better or just don’t want to be alone. Great article. Thanks for sharing
You are so right…jealousy in a relationship should not be tolerated by men or women. Thank you for giving us a male perspective!
That’s great advice! I personally hate the ‘The Jealous Dramatic’ type – unfortunately I had an unpleasant experience of having to deal with one… I guess having too many secrets is also a big Red Flag. A relationship should be transparent!