Remember that feeling – when you meet someone, and it’s like you’re floating on air? They consume your thoughts, your world. But then, whether it’s days, weeks, or months later, you realize you’re not in a healthy relationship at all; you’re actually in a toxic relationship. 

But they seemed so perfect for you. How could you have known? The first step in knowing if your relationship is toxic is to know what the signs of a healthy relationship are. So, let’s take a look at 5 signs that indicate you’re in a healthy relationship. 

What are the Signs to Indicate You’re in a Healthy Relationship?

Regardless of how you’re feeling in those first heady days of a new relationship, your partner might still be toxic. To recognize a healthy relationship, look for the following signs: 

1. R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Respect is essential, and it must be mutual in a healthy relationship. But what exactly does respect look like? 

When you respect each other, you honor each other’s decisions and desires, even when they are different from your own. You trust your partner to do what is right for them, and if you do disagree with your partner’s choice you communicate with them in a loving way. We all heard the saying, it’s not what you say but how you say it – and it is definitely true. 

Dismissive behavior or derogatory words indicate a toxic relationship. A relationship of mutual respect manifests as supportive of each other’s dreams and goals through all stages of life. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with your partner, but if you respect them, you will believe in their ability to make their own decisions, and they will do the same for you. 

Signs of respect include the following: 

• You listen to each other
• If you agree to do something to help your partner, you don’t procrastinate
• You build each other up as opposed to tearing each other down
• You are both understanding and forgiving when one of you makes a mistake
• You make time to spend together
• You take an interest in what interests your partner
• You allow each other to be individuals 
• You show appreciation and gratitude
• You have compassion for each other

2. Communication!

Another key feature of a healthy relationship is that both partners communicate well. You should feel like you can tell your partner exactly what you are feeling without fear of an angry, dismissive, or even violent response. 

Even if you are telling your partner something unpleasant, you should feel as if they will listen to you and thoughtfully consider what you are saying. They should feel the same way about telling you something. 

Of course, conflicts in any relationship are inevitable, and conflict can even be beneficial in intimate relationships. However, when a conflict arises, both partners should be empathetic to each other and remain respectful during interactions. They should be able to resolve their differences effectively without resorting to angry outbursts. 

Here are a few signs of good communication in your relationship: 

• Honesty: You both are truthful and kind with your words
• Active Listening: You listen to each other before you think about a response
• Open Body Language: You both exhibit body language such as eye contact or a gentle touch that shows you care about what the other is saying
• Take Turns: You give each other the opportunity to speak without interrupting them
• Don’t Get Distracted: You give your partner your undivided attention, i.e., no phones or television
• Appreciation: You and your partner both express gratitude for each other 

3. Responsiveness

Being responsive to your partner is an important feature of a close, satisfying relationship. When you actively listen to your partner and respond to their concerns, dreams, and desires, they feel heard and loved. 

Responsiveness enhances relationship quality, particularly when you both reciprocate love and kindness. When you are able to do that for each other, you create more compassion in the relationship, and that ultimately improves the overall quality of your bond. 

Here’s what responsiveness in a relationship looks like: 

• Both partners are understanding and open to hearing their partner’s point of view
• You genuinely care about each other’s well-being
• You are sensitive to each other’s feelings
• You truly want to make the other person feel comfortable, valued, and heard

4. Love and Affection

While it might not be a dozen roses every day, your relationship should be filled with love and affection if it is healthy. Love and affection mean much more than those passionate early days of kissing and touching (non-stop)!

True love and affection really last. Even when those intense feelings that mark the early stages of a relationship begin to fade, you should feel as though you’re building progressively deeper intimacy. You should feel as though you are not only sexually drawn to your partner but that you genuinely like them as well. 

When you truly love your partner, the desire to learn more about and to grow never fades. It is this intimacy that creates more of that passion for each other. 

5. Give and Take

Finally, every strong relationship is a dance of give and take. You should not feel a need to keep score or that one of you is doing more than the other in the relationship. Let’s just break this myth that relationships are 50/50. Sometimes, you will give 70, but the key is knowing that your partner will do it for you, too—trusting that you are on the same team. 

You should feel like you want to do things for your partner simply because you care about them. That doesn’t mean that everything will always be exactly equal. There will be times when one of you needs more help and support than the other, but you should never feel taken advantage of or not appreciated.

Both of you should feel as though you are supported, loved, and respected. It’s also important that you be willing to grow with each other over time. 

Everybody Needs a Little Help Every Now and Again

Even the strongest relationships can sometimes benefit from a few tips. It’s not a sign of weakness or of a failed relationship for both partners to seek out help from a therapist or life coach. In fact, it’s a sign that you’re healthy enough to realize you need some help.

If you and your partner are in that situation, check out my relationship coaching services. I offer coaching, couples therapy, and much more in the Greenville, South Carolina, area. Services are available online or in person, and they just might be the key to a healthier relationship! 
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