As a relationship counselor and coach, I hear the pain and lost hope of women after a breakup. They are heartbroken, they loved him, and they gave him their all. They are shocked that he would change suddenly, end the relationship or worse, cheat on them.

Through the pain and tears, they can’t see the possibility of having a better life. And maybe you are having trouble seeing it too?

I know you loved him, I know you are hurting, but I also know that one day, when you are off living the awesome life you created, he will regret the day he took you for granted. He will remember all the things he did to hurt you, the pain in your voice and the tears in your eyes, and he’ll realize the mistake he made.

But it will be too late. Too late because the wall of your growth and worth will be so high that he won’t be able to reach you.

How do you move on and grow?

The first step is to examine the three most important relationships in a woman’s life: with her higher power, with herself and with her purpose. (See my post on the Top 3 Relationships Every Woman Should Have). Many women neglect these hoping that being in a relationship will make them happy and fulfilled. And if the relationship ends they are left with no foundation to heal and support themselves.

This is why some women “lose themselves” in a relationship, they did not have a clear identity going into the relationship. They were searching to know the truth of who they are and thought a man could tell them. But no one can tell you who you are but the one who created you, and no one can tell you what will make you happy but yourself.

One of the exercises in my Breakup Bucket List is to write your own story. It is a powerful exercise to help you dream and plan the life you want. Writing your story allows you to acknowledge the things that are important to you, whether it is a loving family, career success or traveling across the world. Being aware of who you are and the life you want allows you to take back your power from anyone or anything that has stopped you from progressing.

When you are happy, loving yourself, working toward your dreams and inspiring others, it doesn’t mean you don’t want a man in your life, but it does mean your life is more than a race to be in a relationship.

Keep moving forward; keep loving yourself and one day you will know – you was the best he ever had.

If you need help to overcome a breakup, you can schedule an appointment by calling my office at (864) 559-8181. I look forward to starting the conversation of how you can begin seeing the possibilities in your life and never settle again.