April 30th, 2014
Every woman has her own way of dealing with a breakup. Sometimes we hibernate for weeks on end, spending every spare second stalking our ex on Facebook and Twitter. Others may try to be home as little as possible, spending time hanging out with girlfriends and shopping, shopping… and oh yeah, shopping!
What you should not do after a breakup
Apart from social media stalking and maxing your credit card on 20 new pairs of shoes, there are 5 definite “DON’TS” that every woman should avoid if her relationship’s gone south, such as:
1. Don’t Hook Up
Getting the attention of someone new tonight may feel great in the moment, but after you’ve had a romp in the sack, you will feel even more miserable. Most women who sleep with someone new right after a breakup usually end up with deep regrets and take longer to recover from it.
Do: Flirt! Nothing’s wrong with some male attention, but keep the clothes on.
2. Don’t Talk About Your Ex
Of course when you first break up, you may need a bottle of wine and the companionship of some grounded, thoughtful girlfriends. But if you find yourself unnecessarily bringing up your ex or rambling about them on Twitter when there’s really no need to, then it may be time to start writing your feelings down in a journal so you can get all your emotions out in a positive way.
Do: Be honest with your friends and family and tell them that you’re in the mood to talk about your breakup rather than constantly name-drop. They’ll be far more receptive.
3. Don’t Hit Up Old Hang Outs
Though you shouldn’t need to completely change your route to work, to the gym, or anywhere else, it’s probably a good idea to stop going to the same coffee shop you both went to, the same cafe for lunch, or club you both loved to dance at on Saturday nights.
Do: Go somewhere new! It can be somewhere local like a new cafe or jazz club, or a brand new faraway destination that you’ve never been to.
4. Don’t Hound Them for Closure
It may feel good to try and make your ex feel bad about the breakup, but in a week, month, or year from now you’re going to feel embarrassed because you’re better than that. Even if you do meet up for a post-breakup chat, don’t try to work them over for pity.
Do: Remind yourself that you’re awesome and don’t need them to give you closure. Think about how you can improve yourself and make yourself happier without them.
5. Don’t Worry About Their Next Love
Why bother worrying over who your ex may start dating next? It’s over, it’s done with, and you both will move on (and besides, their next partner is none of your business!). Yes, you’re allowed to secretly hope his family like you more than her but don’t broadcast it to the world.
Do: Focus on what you can do to improve your next relationship. If the thoughts become really overwhelming, hit the gym and sweat your sadness out (there’s never been a better time to take up boxing!).
In the comments below, I want to hear from you. Is there anything else you can add to this list of what you should not do after a breakup?