When Things Fall Apart

A normal, healthy girl’s grocery cart:

  • Non-fat yogurt
  • Box of granola
  • Dozen eggs
  • OJ
  • Three bags of salad

The normal, healthy girl’s grocery cart after a bad breakup:

  • A half-gallon of Chunky Monkey ®
  • Three boxes of Little Debbies
  • Crowd pleaser sized bag of ruffled potato chips
  • French onion dip
  • Two liters of Dr. Pepper
  • Three bottles of Chardonnay

We can all relate to that time when our heart was broken and it seemed like the only way to make the pain go away was a day on the couch with the TV remote, a box of tissues and Ben and Jerry. We may even joke about it, but don’t let it carry you away.

Things can fall apart, but that doesn’t mean you have to. In the midst of a painful breakup, the only response might seem to be a complete meltdown.  Your routine changed, your social calendar is upside down, you may even feel that you are lost in life. How do you cope?

First of all, it’s ok to give yourself time to grieve. If that means shutting off the phone and settling down with Ben and Jerry to ease the pain, fine, but set a limit. If it means leaving town and staying with a friend while things calm down, then take the time to do that.

My Breakup Bucket List has specific steps to guide you through this process. One of them is “Cry, Baby Cry.” Crying is cleansing, it can help you release the physical pain you feel. But there comes a time when you have no more tears left, and that’s a good sign that you are ready to move on.

In the midst of the tears it may seem that nothing will ever be the same again. It may not be, in fact, it just might be better. You will move on stronger and wiser. You will realize that you can pull it together, go after your dreams and overcome the hurt. You will realize that you have the power to create your own happiness and success.

When friends and family rally around you, don’t push them away. Look around you and appreciate those who love you and add so much to your life.

However, if you just can’t seem to pull things together, if you struggle with your daily routine, your work is suffering or you stop caring about yourself, then seek help. You are not a failure, and seeking the help of a relationship coach or other counselor is one of the strongest things you can do. A professional can help you with a plan of action to get you back on your feet and living life. They can provide an impartial perspective and help you work through issues that have you preoccupied. They can be a source of encouragement and confidence while you take stock of all you have to offer others and be thankful for in your life.

Get back on track, fill up that grocery cart with healthy foods once again and get yourself back together. It’s possible and it’s the best thing for you!