March 10th, 2014
Tiffany couldn’t believe it. She was being stood up again. What was worse, she had canceled plans with her friends in order to be available for Derrick. Now he was nearly an hour late and wouldn’t return any of her text messages.
Tiffany’s friends had been telling her for quite a while that she could do better than Derrick. But instead of listening to them, she stood up for him, making excuses that he was busy or called into work at the last minute.
One day Tiffany got upset at one of her best friends who accused her of being scared to be without a man. Yet deep down, she knew her friend was right. Tiffany would rather hold on to a bad relationship than risk being alone.
As a relationship counselor, I see this happen over and over. There are common reasons why women hang on to relationships with men who don’t respect them or truly care for them. They are mistakes you can overcome when you have your eyes open and your best interests at heart.
Take a moment to examine the TOP 5 Mistakes Women Make in a Relationship:
- Fear: Fear of being alone, fear of being the only one of your friends not in a relationship or fear of missing out on love.
- Insecurity: Feeing that you are not “good enough” for a good man. The constant thought that you should just take what you can get in a relationship.
- Other People’s Thoughts – Worrying more about what others think of you rather than what you think of yourself. People think you’ve got it all together, that you are the perfect couple.
- Laziness – You don’t want to make the effort to improve yourself or stand up for yourself. Instead of being single and confident you would rather stay in a broken relationship.
- Please Love Me Syndrome – You think you don’t have a life or value unless someone loves you and makes you the center of their life. Your actions are constantly saying “I will do anything or accept anything if only you love me.”
Ask yourself if you have fallen into the trap of holding yourself back from happiness and success for the sake of keeping someone else happy. Have you let other people’s thoughts or your insecurity trap you in an unhealthy relationship? Often we worry too much about what other people think of us, rather than what we truly think of ourselves.
You determine your true value. You have the power to say it stops now.
One step in my is to write the ending to your own story. It may begin with taking stock of where you are now and what you are missing in your relationship. Breakups can be painful, but they can also be a fresh start, the opportunity to create the life and relationship you always wanted.
If you don’t feel confident that you can leave your relationship on your own, talking with a relationship counselor can help you sort out your priorities and gain the confidence to create the life you want, one that includes a healthy, loving relationship. When you put your best interest first, you set the standard for the new relationships to come.
If you need help to stop making the same mistakes in your relationship, I can help you determine the RIGHT things to do Right now! Click here to find out more about my relationship therapy services