March 1st, 2016
Veni, vidi, vici. I came, I saw, I conquered.
As I write the final piece in my series on The Art of Letting Go, that’s what my mind keeps going back to: You came, you read and with hope, you are conquering. It’s empowering for me to think about all the successes you will have because of your ability to let go of the elements in your life that aren’t working, that are holding you back, that are causing you to make the same mistakes over and over.
We’ve covered a lot of ground in this series. During the process of letting go, you have learned who you are and what you want, and you have discovered what you need to change in your life to reach your goals. You have focused on forgiveness and freed yourself of the guilt and blame that has kept you from moving forward with your life. All of the steps have led you to this point: balance.
The Art of Letting Go: A 5-Part Series
- Reflection: Learning who you are and who you want to be
- Awareness: Understanding the changes that need to occur
- Forgiveness: Making peace with your and others’ mistakes
- Acceptance: Leaving the familiar and embracing the unknown
- Balance: Making steps 1-4 a part of your life; continue to grow
Your New Balancing Act
The balance step is the best step. Because it’s about enjoying each day and taking the time to see yourself as you are. You are taking all that you’ve learned from the previous steps and integrating them into your way of thinking. Everyday you are reflecting, you are staying aware and you are forgiving. You are not fighting against your history or your present. You are accepting of all aspects of your life. You have a plan in place to change the things you want to change, and you are working toward your goals. You are prepared to take some risks and spread your wings.
But in balance, you are not rushing toward the finish line of life, stressed out and nervous. At the same time, you are not stagnant. You are enjoying the journey with peace and happiness. You are a bit like the tortoise in the tale of The Tortoise and The Hare: You are walking your own path, in your own time. You are not following anyone else’s lead or letting their actions distract you. You have control over your thoughts and actions. You know yourself!
And when you have reached balance in your life, you can feel when your emotions are out of whack, when your feelings are hurt and when you do not feel like yourself. You know there is something bothering you —whether it is hurt from the past or anxiety about the future — that you need to let go of. And when you realize this, you reflect and take the time to address it.
Balance keeps us in sync with ourselves, so as we grow, we can process what needs to stay and what needs to go. Growth and change are inevitable in life, and when you create balance, you can better handle the ups and downs. You flow with the stream of change — and not against it.
[bctt tweet=”Balance keeps us in sync with ourselves, so as we grow, we can process what stays & what goes.”]
Checking and Balancing into the Future
Balance sounds pretty ideal, doesn’t it? But the challenge that comes with balance is that once we attain it, it is not a one-time fix. Life happens, children happen, work happens, family happens. When major life events happen, we can be thrown off balance.
But the key to staying steady is grounding your balance in who you are — and you do that with your mantra.
Like I stated earlier, my mantra is, “I will have peace and happiness today and everyday of my life.” That means when bad things happen, I continue to be rooted in who I am. I do not panic, I do not start people-pleasing, I don’t get negative. I go through the stages of letting go, and in the process, I am constantly guided by my mantra. I handle each situation as it comes and I remain peaceful and happy, continuing to stay aware, to forgive and to remain balanced.
The Art of Letting Go is a daily process that keeps you grounded with what is important to you, who you want to be and what type of life you want to live. And your mantra is one of your greatest tools to stay focused on the process.
Balance of Personal Power
During this process, and especially during the balance stage, you learn to make yourself a priority. That may seem selfish, but I assure you it is not. You have to nourish yourself, so you are able to help others and be the best wife, husband, mom, dad, friend, employee, etc., that you can be. You must see everyday as a chance to move forward, to be patient with yourself (even in your mistakes) and to smile at yourself all the time.
In balance, you are constantly looking at yourself, your thoughts and your actions. In doing this, your are clearly examining your mistakes and becoming aware of what needs to happen so you will not make the same mistakes over and over again. Having balance is like holding up a mirror that honestly examines your whole being, including your emotional and mental state. It allows you to look deeply at yourself and clearly envision your strengths and weaknesses.
We will always make mistakes. That’s a guarantee in life. But when you have balance, you stop the cycle of making the same mistakes over and over again. When you stop the cycle of dysfunction in your life and let go of your baggage, you are giving yourself a huge gift: You are making your happiness, your future and your wants and needs a priority.
You know you are worthy.
Handling the Good With the Bad
As you continue to conquer and overcome and use all of these tools to let go of the old and embrace your future, I think it’s valuable to discuss how a balanced perspective changes our view of ourselves, our experiences and the world around us.
Personal growth and development is so exciting for me because it truly allows me to see the woman I was, the woman I am and the woman I am working to become. That’s truly inspiring. In our lives, there are some things we can prepare for, and there are certain stages in life that we know are coming. Of course, there are wonderful experiences that are out of our control. You might say, “What about the negative experiences that happen to us? Are they wonderful?” And my answer: Yes, definitely.
When we experience the hard times in life, they become great opportunities to show what we are made of. Remember, diversity doesn’t build character, adversity does. So when a situation knocks you on your butt — and it will — sit there, cry a little and throw a tantrum. Then, you wipe your tears, get up, sink your heels in and remember who you are. Say your mantra as often as you need until you get the job done.
As you work on being balanced and letting go, you will quickly learn that you are not immune to heartbreak, frustration, anger or sadness. But you can become immune to staying stuck and avoiding your challenges. You can now move forward. You have a box of tools that will help you through the hardest of situations and keep you focused on yourself, your goals and your future.
And the more you bring all aspects of The Art of Letting into your everyday life, the more you will be filled with abundance. The abundance will spill into the other parts of your lives, families, relationships, careers and finances.
If you need extra support as you accept the newness in your life and embrace a future of possibility, a counselor like myself can offer plenty of guidance. You can contact me at (864) 559-8181 to schedule an appointment. I can help people in the Greenville, SC area or internationally via Skype.